Welcome To FunniGurl.com
How Men Think
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which
one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of
them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She
gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and
tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you
because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a
television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I
bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market,
doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the
rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future
because I love you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the
money and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.
The president of Chase Manhattan Bank decides he should take a
vacation/business trip. Since the president has heard how much fun
Taipei is, he decides to visit the offices there. He books two
tickets, one for him and one for his secretary.
After his arrival in Taipei, the president receives an urgent message
from headquarters that the richest man in Taiwan wants to put all his
money into a Chase Manhattan account. Since the account would be quite
substantial, the president decides to meet personally with the man.
The next day, the president and his secretary go to meet the Taiwanese
at an exclusive restaurant. Throughout the dinner, the president tries
to bring up the subject of opening the new account but the prospective
client only seems interested in the president's secretary.
After dinner, the businessman asks the secretary to spend the rest of
the evening seeing the sights in Taipei with him. Not wishing to
offend the prospective client, the president orders his secretary to
go ahead but tells her that she must be diplomatic and under no
circumstances is she to insult the man by rejecting him outright.
After going to a dance club for a few hours, the businessman takes the
secretary aside. As he holds her hand and looks her straight into her
eyes, he tells her that he loves her. Then, he gets on his knees and
asks her to marry him.
Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers
what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries
to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry
So, after a few minutes, the woman says: "I will only marry you under
three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat
diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."
The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile then, with a nod of his head,
answers: "No problem!! I buy. I buy."
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says, "My
second condition is a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation
home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the Gironde in France."
The man pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone, calls some
brokers in New York, then he calls some real estate agents in France.
He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build, I
Realizing that she has one last condition, the secretary knows that
she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and
finally, she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her
eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like to have
sex, I want the man I marry to have a 12-inch penis."
The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face in his hands and rests
his elbows on the table. All the while, he's muttering something in
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the man shakes his head,
looking real sad, says to the woman,
"OK. I cut. I cut."
What am I?
This is a useful tool, commonly found in the range of 8 inches long.
The function of which is enjoyed by both sexes. It is usually found
hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts a clump of
hairy little things at one end and a hole at the other. In use it is
inserted, almost willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into
a warm, fleshly, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out
again and again many times in succession, often quickly and
accompanied by squirming bodily movements. Anyone found listening will
most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the
well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, it leaves a juicy,
frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from
the outer surface of the opening and some from the glistening shaft.
After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing fluids have
ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest,
ready of yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching is bristling
climax twice or even three times daily, but often much less.
What am I?
As you may have already guessed, the answer to this riddle is none
other than your very own.........
E-Mail this Joke to a friend!
Back to The Best of the Best
Back to FunniGurl
No part of this site maybe copied or reproduced by any means
(except the jokes) All rights are reserved.