"Subject: Sad news about Larry LaPrise"
I don't usually pass along sad news like this, but sometimes we need
to pause and remember what life is about:
There was a great loss recently in the entertainment world.
Larry LaPrise, the Detroit native who wrote the song
"Hokey Pokey," died last week at 83.
It was especially difficult for the family to keep him
in the casket.
They'd put his left leg in and....well ... you know the rest...
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apologize in advance for these...~*l*~
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when
they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and
for all, that you can't have your kayak, and heat it too.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed
behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser
of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West
He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking
for the man who shot my paw."
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his
dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted
to transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager
came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting
in an open foyer."
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun
contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope
that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption.
One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named
"Amal." The other went to a family in Spain, and they
named him "Juan." Years later, Juan sent a picture
of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she
told her husband that she wished she also had a
picture of Amal. Her husband responded, "But they are
twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
And the worst of the bunch:
These friars were behind on their belfry
payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to
raise the money. Everyone liked to buy flowers from
the men of God, but the rival florist across town
thought the competition was unfair. He asked the
good fathers to close down, but they would not. He
went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the
friars to get out of business. They ignored her too.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the
roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade"
them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close
their shop. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving
(are you ready for this?!)
that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
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The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the
older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a
couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the
confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub
your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest
suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on', and
"I understand. How did you feel about that?"
The new priest says those things. The old priest says, "Now,
don't you think that's a little better than slapping your
knee and saying 'No shit?!? What happened next
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