Actual "Ugh Ohs".
Something to think about the next time you're having a bad day
(this was an article in the CALIFORNIA EXAMINER):
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The
deceased malewas dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank,
flippers, and face mask. A post mortem examination revealed the person
died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries.
Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators
then set about determining how a fully-clad diver ended up in the
middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire,
the person went for a diving trip off the coast - some 20 miles
away from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire
as quickly as possible,called in a fleet of helicopters with very
large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling,
then flown to the forest fire and emptied.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific,the next he was doing a breaststroke in a fire bucket 300 feet in
the air. Apparently, he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire.
STILL HAVING A BAD DAY? THINK AGAIN!
So you think you're having a bad day. The following is taken from a
Florida newspaper:
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in
the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the
motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear.
The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass
patio door, and the motorcycle dumped him onto the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her
husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying
next to him, and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone
and summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill,
the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to
direct the paramedics to her husband.
After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the
hospital, the wife up-righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.
Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some
papers towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come
home. After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door
and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went
into the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and smoked a cigarette.
After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into
the toilet bowl.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband
lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away, and he was
suffering from burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin.
The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.
The same ambulance crew was dispatched, and the wife met them at the street.
The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying
him to the street.
While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by
the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned
himself. She told them, and the paramedics started laughing so hard,
one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out.
He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.
Now THAT is a bad day...
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