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Welcome To FunniGurl.com
SPOD - stupid people of the day - it's cute
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I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this
woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to
bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and
at the end of the conversation happened to mention that
she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
daughter in to the ER right away.
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Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the
field decided to steal a life raft from one of the
747s. They were successful in getting it out of the
plant and home. When they took it for a float on the
Stilliguamish River, they were quite surprised by a
coast guard helicopter homing in on the emergency locator
that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no
longer employed there.
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The instructor was demonstrating the wonders of
static electricity to his class at MIT. While holding a
plastic rod in one hand and a wool cloth in the other, he
told the class, "You can see that I get a large charge from
rubbing my rod..." That was pretty much the end of learning
for that day.
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I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling
sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are
sometimes required to make store-wide pages, e.g.,"I
have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the
paint counter." One night a tentative female voice came
over the intercom system with the following message: "I
have a customer by the balls in toys who needs
assistance."
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A police officer had a perfect hiding place for
watching for speeders. But one day, everyone was under the
speed limit, the officer found the problem: a 10 year old
boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand
painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little
more investigative work led the officer to the boy's
accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the
radar trap with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket at his
feet, full of change.
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet
for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize
he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under
the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the
entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself.
He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the
hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she
said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in
the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my
gerbil."
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