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The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park.
They went for a ride on the Ferris Wheel. The ride completed,
she seemed rather bored. "What would you like to do next? "he asked.
"I wanna be weighted," she said. So the young man took her over to
the weight guesser. "One-twelve," said the man at the scale, and he
was absolutely right. Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, He
bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then asked what else she
would like to do. "I wanna be weighted," she said.
I really latched onto a square one tonight, thought the young man, and
using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home.
The girl's mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked,
"What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a nice time tonight?"
"Wousy," said the girl.
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A man's wife had been in a coma for several days following a
particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the
hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman's
body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she had
thought she had seen the woman's eyebrows shudder. Not quite sure, she
tried again. This time, she actually did see some movement.
"Doctor, Doctor," she called, "I saw some movement!" The Doctor came in
to the room and tried as well. Once more they both saw movement around
the woman's eyes.
"Well this is good news," said the Doctor. "I think we should call her
husband and let him know." Anyway they called her husband and told him
that they had seen some movement. When he arrived, they explained that
by touching her pubic hair, they were seeing some sort of reaction in
her facial muscles. The Doctor suggested that the husband may like to
try something a little more adventurous in order to provoke a stronger
reaction. "I suggest that we leave the room and let you try a little
oral sex," he said.
The husband duly agreed and so he was left alone in
the room. Several moments later, all the emergency alarms and buzzers
were activated. The Doctor and a host of nurses ran into the wife's room
where they saw the husband zipping up his jeans.
"ooops," he said, I think I choked her."
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There once was a man who could not keep it going with his wife. He went
to the doctor who gave him some sex pills. There was a label on the
bottle that said....
**Take one pill for a great night**
The man thought that he wanted a stupendous night;
so he downed the whole bottle.
In the morning the neighbors came over to find the
man's son sitting on the porch crying.
"What's wrong?" they said.
"Mom's dead, Sister's pregnant, My backside hurts, and Dad's in the
basement yelling: Here Kitty Kitty..."
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A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of
water. His wife asks, "What's that for?"
"It's for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He replies, "Gotcha!"
