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Hello...FunniGurl here...
i wanna' tell ya'll about when i was dating my husband...



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i wanna' tell ya'll about when i was dating my husband...

oH! he of the great white hunter fame....remember the deer and the bunny?

well...actually this was years before both of those incidents...
i have already told you that i used to go hunting with him....
i thought you might like to hear about a couple of those times...

let me preface this with....

i have never shot another living creature....it is not in my make up....
i just can't bring myself to actually hurt one of god's creations...

well that isn't entirely true....i did shoot an animal once....

see...my hub..my then boyfriend...had a friend named ...paul...

hub got it into his head that i should share the experience of hunting
down and killing that wild bird beast known as a dove.....ferocious creature....
wing span of 6 inches...talons that can grasp a small twig and drag it away to it's lair....
curved beak with enough strength to rip a cornel of corn right off the cob...
a truly fearsome creature it is.....i shivered in my boots knowing what danger i
would be exposing myself too..but knowing i would do it for love.....~*sigh...
hub gets me dressed to face the ordeal ahead of us.....
he has me trussed up in his favorite hunting vest....
shotgun slung over my arm....camo cap tilted just right over my eye....
i mean i am going hunting but i want to be sheik too yanno'......

we go out to the cornfield..freshly cut....ron, paul, and me.....

ron says he will take the left side of the field....paul takes the right....
that left me the middle...walking between two ruggedly handsome..fearless...
incredibly manly men.....
the cornfield sorta had a li'hill in it...and hub was at the bottom of that hill.....
i was walking along...quietly...stealthfully....keeping my eyes peeled for any sign
of the winged demons....when off to my left..i heard a terrible racket.....
a whoooopwhooopwhoooop of flapping wings...and i knew~! i just knew we had jumped
a whole batallion of the feathered killers!~ thinking quickly i turned to the left....raised my shotgun.....and just as i was squeezing
the trigger..i heard through the ruckus....

"DON'T SHOOT!!"

but it was too late.....i had already let loose with a hale of 7.5 shot.......

funny though.....no birds fell.....
however hub was laying on the ground.....ACK!? ON THE GROUND?????? i dropped the shotgun....
eyes wide! mouth open....frozen where i stood.... did one of the foul beasts attack him????

paul broke my fugue..and we went running over to his prostrate form...and as i skidded to a
stop....ron raised his head...small rivlets of blood dripped into his eyes....his eyes..
oh lord! why was he looking at me like that????...he looked.....

ANGRY!!!!!

confused i looked around to see if maybe one of the doves was coming at me from behind....
and i heard paul saying....

"no! no! i am sure she didn't mean it!! i am sure she didn't mean it!!!"..
what was he talking about???......

i was sorta' dense back then yanno'....

but the curtain did raise and let in the knowledge......

he was the first and last of this world's creatures that i ever shot....

with a lot of begging...pleading...crying...crawling for mercy....he forgave me....
of course...but i think he remembers that i once had a shotgun trained in his direction
and din't hesitate to pull the trigger....and so he treats me with a lil'more respect......

and hides his guns....~*giggles.....

before that unfortunate incident...i did go hunting with him one other time....

as i recall...we were going after squirrel.....

you know squirrels...cute...furry lil'things..with bushy tails? love to watch them frolich...
even today..i put out peanuts so they will play outside my window...~*grinz...

anyway....ron tells me.....he says....."bek", that's what he calls me...bek...he says "bek...
today we are going into the woods and shoot dinner....Yum! Yum! fried squirrel"...

keep in mind we are still dating...so i can't very well look at him and say i would rather
eat tree bark and pine cones than cute playful lil'things that never hurt a fly....
No! can NOT say no when you are still dating! that comes AFTER the marriage!..
~*wicked lil'grin.... she we are heading into the woods..and he is showing me how to walk without making noise...
yeah! like that is possible....walk across dry leaves and twigs..
and not make a crunching noise! sure! i believe that!

but i am trying my best..and only making a modicum of racket..when he turns to me..
and in a hushed voice says...

"now honey...once we get into the woods....you are just one of the guys"...

i shake my head....and we continue our adventure deeper into the trees....

he finds the perfect tree for me...and sets me down...tells me in his sternest voice...
(remember i haven't shot him yet)...not to move from that place.....i agree...
i mean really...where am i going to go? i am lost as a goose...never had a sense of
direction worth a damn yanno'....

so i sit...and he heads off deeper into the woods.... and i watch the happy lil'squirrels play...jump from branch to branch...play...it is...
~*WonDerFul!..and i am having a great time....there must be 50 of the lil'things running
across the tree tops...and one even comes down to the ground to sniff a bit at me.....

i was in heaven!

and then i hear him coming.....well i hear someone coming....and i jump up and make noise...
wave my arms...and basically scare the squirrels back into hiding....

i am so proud of myself..cuz' by the time ron gets back to the tree where he left me...
i am sitting content...knowing the squirrels are safe another day....

he sits down beside me.....

and starts whisperin' soft things....slips his arm around me....and nibbles my neck a bit....
yanno'?

as we are walking out of the woods..i couldn't resist temptation...
you know what is coming don't you dear reader??? i had to do it...i just had too....
i looked at him..and with a straight face i asked innocently....

"so that is what you guys do when you go hunting together?"

well...i am here to tell you...i have been hunting with hub twice......

once i shot him....once he...ummmm...well let's just say we are even in the shots columns!.....

~*giggles'n'grinz.......


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