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Hello...FunniGurl here...
Menopause..
These are my thoughts on the subject..



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huh!
hub told me the other night all i needed was some estrogen...

i told him what i really needed was just a crossbow and a chainsaw...

i guess i have started into "the change"....

okay..so i have started into the flippin' change..but i am NOT that old!
the women start young in my family.

i think he started noticing the difference when he said "You look beautiful today,"
and i tried to stab him with my fork...i noticed the difference when it was -20 degrees outside
and i began to think it was a good idea to go sleeveless...

what is it about women and those flippin' hot flashes anyway???
someone asked what it was like..so i told him...he being a chef, there was an easy way to make
him understand....

simply turn the oven up to 750 degrees...wait 30 minutes..till you know it is up to temp....put
on your long underware and heaviest winter clothing...lower the door....stand there a second
so you can enjoy the tropical warmth eminating from within...then fold yourself up real tiny
...and hop right in...

...pretty much sums up how i feel anyway....

another analogy that some might understand who don't understand the intricacies of a stove...
a dry sauna..you know..the wooden box with the heater that has rocks in it and smells funny?

well again..turn it up as high as it will go.....sit in it for ohhhhhhhhhh! 40 minutes or so..
then move closer to the heater....that's right...closer....closer....now...put your face right
over it....comeon....closer....lay your cheek right up next to the li'wire thingy covering the
rocks...now slam your face against the glowing red metal that is just below melting temp! btw..
i think it is probably a good thing to have a friend standing by with a spatula to help unglue
your face from the grate....

and emotions!!! what the hell, are we supposed to do with all those conflicting emotions flying
around our psyche???? believe it or not...i used to be level headed...always on an even keel..

now i cry when i hear a sad song on the radio, if i see a sad movie....vacumn the floor...
when the dog wags her tail...i am just a font of amusment for hub now...or is it confusment?
i swear..he will not even let me listen to my favorite radio station anymore...makes me listen
to that demon rock and roll he does! says it is good for his sanity if i don't listen to
country western....go figure!

hummmm...

see..the only time i used to cry was when i got really angry....but then i only got really angry
about once a year...now it is a constant state of being...he just looks at me bewildered and
mutters something about havin' to go the store...or to the shed...and then comes back in a
couple four hours.....

i look at that shed...and wonder what the hell he does out there anyway...it is only 4 X 4 for
pete's sake! more of a dog house than a shed....wonder if he has a 'puter hiden out there?
(make a mental note...go check the dog house for sign)..

i picture him out there....sorta' scrunched up...a puzzled look on his face....contemplating
what to do with his now insane wife...asking God what in the hell he was thinking of when he
created woman....and especially when he created that wonderful thing called menopause....

now i think we call it menopause...cuz' it gives men pause to think about all those things they
did in their younger day to torture us women...well they may not remember all those lil'insults
...but we certainly do...and are duty bound to remind them each and every day what a dog they
used to be!...~*giggles...

Whoa! was that me? well there are some things that still make me laugh...


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