Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off,people thought
she was backing up

Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks

Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to 
everyone

Yo momma so fat she was in the ocean and Spain claimed
her for the new world

Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the 
menu and says "okay!"

Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down
 the bridge too

Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she 
SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read 
"one at a time, please"

Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says 
to be continued

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says 
we don't do livestock

Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a 
Volkswagon!

Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach 
the tide comes in!

Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - 
white & chunky!

Yo momma so fat I had to take a train to get on 
her good side!

Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park,
 people try to ride HER!

Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it 
made a dollar!

Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else
 gets sun!

Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets 
stuck!!!

Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong
 phone book!

Yo momma so fat that her senior picture had to be arial
 view!

Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, 
she strikes oil!

Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get
 her out!

Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep

Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets

Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself 
asleep trying to get up

Yo momma so fat she influences the tides

Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around 
her I ran out of gas

Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her

Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole
 band skips

Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones

Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and
hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet,
they have to install speed bumps

Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes

Yo momma so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs

Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, 
helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are
 satellite pictures

Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time
 they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard

Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace
 shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean

Yo momma so fat that she would have been in ET, but when 
she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse

Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona --  class Battleship

Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons

Yo momma so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to 
prepare for her

Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on
 and came back with sandals!!!

Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it
 told her to get off!!!

Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger 
than her IQ!!!

Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development

But wait even MORE Yo' Momma jokes.

There are a few that are the same as above.  I will 
try to weed them out in the future.

Yo mama's so fat...

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses 
just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make
 two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends
 come help.

Yo mama' so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her 
forearm, neck, and thigh!

Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and
 her height doesn't change.

Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the 
band skip.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, 
she works as the screen.

Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player
 skip... at the radio station.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever 
perpetual motion machine.

Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs
 that say:"Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use 
all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears 
Levi's 1002's.

Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she 
wears wide load.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, 
it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom
 made by a contractor.

Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket"
 she got back in bed.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh
eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in 
her mouth.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women 
orbiting around her.

Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes 
crashing through the wall.

Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.

Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars 
look out for her.

Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.

Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans 
I swear I smelled something burning.

Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just 
to see all of her.

Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.

Yo mam's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local 
tent shop.

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, 
the warning lights went on.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she 
sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she 
takes up all the rings.

Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said 
"Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass 
out of the way.

Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started 
throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.

Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on 
each of her butt cheeks.

Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, 
she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays 
the interior line.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats
 by the afternoon.

Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody
 shouts "The coast is clear."

Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.

Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.

Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture 
continued on other side."

Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.

Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.

Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time 
they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD."

Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in 
"Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball.

Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at 
the menu, and says "Okay."

Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the 
cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she 
doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her
 and tried to roll off, I was still on her.

Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd 
have to take his word for it!

Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg.

Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture 
of her feet, she couldn't identify them.

Yo mama's so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by 
dressing her as a Chevy.

Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon 
as it's light she starts eating.

Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever 
she saw food she ate it.

Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and
 still not lose weight.

Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight
 savings time.

Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and 
half American.

Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I 
burned my ass on the lightbulb.

Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd
 better be 50 pound test!

Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her 
two area codes.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.

Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code.

Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting 
over a milk dud.

Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw 
her a welcome back party.

Yo mama's so fat, when I was done I rolled over, over
again, and I was still on top of the bitch.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she
 could get group insurance!

Yo mama's so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a
 group discount.

Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one 
for each timezone.

Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and 
they thought she was an oil spill.

Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play 
offense and defense.

Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a 
pack of hot-dogs.

Yo mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower 
and look for the wet spot.

Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.

Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and 
it told her to "Get the fuck off."

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and 
it said "Please step out of the car."

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw 
her phone number.

Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was 
on a scale.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says 
"To be continued."

Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says 
"One at a time, please."

Yo mama' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.

Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.

Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.

Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet 
don't get wet.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.

Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and 
Spain claimed her as a new world.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes.
She has to wear Boss Hoggs.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she 
measures on the Richter scale.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, 
she even orders "Thank You, Come Again."

Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her
 he got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch 
marks on the swimming pool.

Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills 
up the tub.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: 
extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked 
"Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to
 get into her pockets.

Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies 
than a Thomas' English Muffin.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get 
into her pockets.

Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat,
 one for vegetables.

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other 
arm is just as big.

Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.

Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the 
hole in the ozone layer.

Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: 
LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY.

Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when 
I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.

Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a 
paint-roller.
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow 
man on steroids.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police
 came & said "Break it up!"

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to 
change gears.

Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.

Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood
 sign and it just said H d.

Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, 
and the sun burned out.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint,
it has sweaters.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and 
ordered a 40oz.   of gravy.

Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks.

Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache is real.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it 
into a low rider.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone
 yells "Earthquake!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street,you can 
hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll
 let you pass."

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., 
you miss 5 minutes of your show.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from 
going to Jenny Craig is the door.

Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages 
at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!"

Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a 
"Caution! Wide Turn" sign.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked 
the magic.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumed in da ocean and the whales 
started singing "We are family!"

Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to 
slap her ass and ride the wave in.

Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say 
"What goes up must come down, except Yo mama."

Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear 
for bungee jumping.

Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.

Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down 
the bridge too.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little 
kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy."

Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.

Yo mama's so fat, she plays pool with the planets.

Yo mama's so Fat, she's taller lying down.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the
 clothing store is the dressing rooms.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she 
rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama's so fat, she pulls up a chair to an 
all-u-can-eat buffet.

Yo mama's so fat, you can pinch an inch on her forehead.

Yo mama's so fat, you could go swimming in her bra.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear 
the stereo.

Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.

Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational 
attraction than a black hole.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the 
ridges don't show.

Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry.

Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell 
"Hey Kool-Aid Man."

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, 
people call her "Taxi!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, 
kids think its the school bus.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people 
call her "Barney."

Yo mama is so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls 
on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace 
tried to drag her ass back in the water.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they 
put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's 
fell out.

Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in
 your house the tires pop.

Yo mama's so fat, she don't know wether she's walking 
or rolling.

Yo mama's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells 
"Stampede!"

Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to fuck her I didn't know 
if I was hitting the hole or a roll.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out.

Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anerexic.

Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.

Yo mama's so fat, we're inside her right now.

Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight 
the person fighting her got lost in her.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it,
 people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.

Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls
 and a car fell out.

Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just
 to make her a pair of shoes.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court
 for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Yo mama so fat that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.

Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.


Your Momma's So Poor


1.Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald`s and put a milk shake
  on layaway 
2.Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other
  people`s fingers. 
3.Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" 
4.Yo momma is so poor that there are only two channels on her
  TV..."off" and "on". 
5.Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I
  asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." 
6.Yo momma so poor she can`t afford to pay attention 
7.Yo momma's so poor that when someone steps on a cigarette, she
  asks, "Why did you turn off the heater?" 
8.Yo momma so poor, I saw her smashing a box an said "What are
  you doing?" and she said "Redecorating" 
9.Yo momma so poor, she bounces food stamps!! 
10.Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! 
11.Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
12.Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money. 
13.Yo Momma so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp. 
14.Yo Momma is so poor when she heard about the last supper she
   thought she had ran out of food stamps. 
15.Yo Momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I
   said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." 
16.Yo Momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it
   air conditioning. 
17.Yo Momma so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus. 
18.Yo Momma so poor you put RoundUp on the weeds and she said,
   "There goes breakfast, lunch, and dinner!" 
19.Yo Momma so poor you asked her where the facilities were, and
   she said, "Pick a corner, any corner." 
20.Yo Momma so poor I walked into your house and 3 roaches tripped
   me & tried to take my wallet! 


Your Momma's So Hairy


1.Yo momma so hairy, bigfoot takes pictures of her 
2.Yo momma's underarms are so hairy, it looks like she has Don King in a
     headlock. 
3.Yo momma is so hairy your daddy has to go on a safari to find her tit. 
4.Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! 
5.Yo momma so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody
    calls her Hair Jordon 
6.Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples! 


Your Momma's So Old


1.Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it 
2.Yo momma so old, her social security card is in roman numerals 
3.Yo momma so old her social security number is 1 
4.Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. 
5.Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks 
6.Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch 
7.Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died. 
8.Yo momma so old she has Jesus` beeper number 
9.Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper 
10.Yo momma is so old her bones are hanging in a museum 
11.Yo momma is so old, her breasts give out powdered milk 
12.Yo momma so old...she older than yo grandma! 
13.Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. 
14.Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. 
15.Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
16.Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. 
17.Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. 
18.Yo momma so old when she reads the bible she reminisces. 
19.Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. 
20.Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she
   was 10, and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything." 
21.Yo momma so old she was Jesus Wet Nurse. 
22.Yo momma so old even God calls her mother! 
23.Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang. 



YO MOMMA SO STUPID


Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes 

Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 
(under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home
 and got 16 friends

Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was 
"illegitiment" because she couldn't read 

Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head 
just to make-up her mind 

Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so
 she gets a bowl 

Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! 

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store 
and starved!
 
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! 

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! 

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
 
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
 
Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. 

Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. 

Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" 

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how 
long she slept. 

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application 
to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." 

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. 

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread. 

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. 

Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
 
Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her 
own back. 

Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look 
like Nobel Prize winners. 

Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get 
on Soul Train. 

Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", 
she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." 

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the 
ocean!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new 
hamburger at McDonalds! 

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
 
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day 
care center. 

Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record 
cable tv shows at home. 

Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, 
she took the 22 twice instead. 

Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. 

Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an 
income tax refund. 

Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
 
Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job 
application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
 
Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt 
that was heating your house. 

Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" 
and takes notes. 

Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't
 remember her birthday. 

Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course
 
Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
 
Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 
7 day itch. 

Yo momma so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying 
"Hi! Hitler" 

Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 
24hr virus 

Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg 

Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger
 helper 

Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a
 sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home. 

Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans 
I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's 



YO MAMA IS SO UGLY


Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, 
they said "Sorry, no professionals." 

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got 
arrested for mooning.
 
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said 
"What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." 

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make 
gorilla cookies. 

Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in 
her shower 

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when 
she tried out for Star Wars. 

Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord 
around her ankle, they put it around her neck
 
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress
 up for Halloween. 

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they 
turn off the surveillence cameras 

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
 
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her 
neck to get the dogs to play with her. 

Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in 
September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?" 

Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
 
Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her
 own projects. 

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in
strip joints. 

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. 

Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician 
it took 12 hours... for a quote! 

Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
 
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
 
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! 

Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on 
the phone! 

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! 

Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life 

Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
 
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the 
beach, cats try to bury her. 

Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away. 

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her 
at the pound. 

Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work 
with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
 
Yo momma so ugly your dad's breath smells like shit 
because he would rather kiss her ass. 

Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: 
Being a scarecrow 



Your Momma's So Skinny


1.Yo momma so skinny she has to run around in the showers to get
  wet. 
2.Yo momma is so skinny, when she swallowed a marble she looked
  nine months pregnant. 
3.Yo momma so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio 
4.Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. 
5.Yo momma so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared. 
6.Yo momma so skinny that if she turns sideways and sticks out her
  tongue she looks like a zipper. 
7.Yo momma so skinny she has to bundle up 'cause of the "thin chill
  factor" 


Your Momma's So Slutty


1.Yo momma so slutty, I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear
     infection. 
2.Yo momma so slutty, her armpits smells so much her Sure deodorant is
    confused 
3.Yo momma so slutty, that she has dual exaust on her vibrator. 
4.Yo momma so slutty,  like a race car, she burns four rubbers a day 
5.Yo momma is so slutty she can suck start a Harley 
6.Yo momma is so slutty,  like a 7-11, open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents
    you can get a slurpie. 
7.Yo momma is so slutty, like a gun, one cock and she blows 
8.Yo momma so slutty, she made Right Guard turn left. 
9.Yo momma is so slutty, like the pillsbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke 
10.Yo momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball! 
11.Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on
      her nice belt. 
12.Yo momma so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open,
      and it said "breakfast of the champs" 
13.Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line
      behind me had the correct change. 
14.Yo momma so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive 
15.Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she
      thought she was getting it three times. 
16.Yo momma so slutty she blind and seeing another man. 
17.Yo momma so slutty I had sex with her and and I'm a chick! 


MISCELLANEOUS STUFF
 EVERYBODY SAYS ABOUT YOU AND 
YO MOMMA


Yo momma wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!" 

Yo momma feet are so big her shoes have to have 
license plates! 

Yo momma aint so bad...she would give you the hair 
off of her back! 

Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. 

Yo momma teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look 
like dice. 

Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. 

Yo momma hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. 

Yo momma hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just 
to comb it. 

Yo momma so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. 

Yo momma twice the man you are. 

Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. 

Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9. 

Yo momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head 
to scratch her ear. 

Yo momma in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna push 
me 'round no more." 

Yo momma rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't
even serve Happy Meals. 

Yo momma gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo. 

Yo momma breath smell so bad when she yawns her 
teeth duck. 

Yo momma was in church with a tee-shirt on that said 
"WHO FARTED?" 

Yo momma is in a wheelchair screaming "I AIN'T STANDING
 FOR THIS SHIT" 

Yo momma threw a frizbee three weeks ago that hasn't 
landed yet. 

Yo momma can wrestle a cow to the ground. 

Yo momma referees bar fights without a shirt on. 

If my dog had a face as ugly as your momma's, I'd shave
his ass and make him walk backwards. 

It took yo momma 10 tries to get her drivers license, 
she couldnt get used to the front seat! 

I seen your mother downtown scrapping with a pigeon 
for a peanut. 

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